All or Nothing Thinking

We’re a few days into the New Year now and already I’ve given up one of my resolutions… (to wake up at 5am each day, if you must know.)

Rather than feel guilty, I’ve made a promise to myself to be a little kinder in my self talk. Once over, I’d have chastised myself and called myself lazy. These days I try to incorporate a bit of positivity and resilience by drawing a line in the sand and saying “tomorrow is a new day.”

In business (and in life), we often have an ‘all or nothing’ mentality. In the past, I’ve decided to not even try something due to negative self talk like “I will fail” or “I’d be crap at that!” But by not even trying, I’m closing myself off to new experiences and growth.

I think it all stems from anxiety issues I’ve experienced in the past and limiting beliefs from childhood. More on that another day, but if this resonates with you, then here’s some ways to develop a more elastic mentality when it comes to trying new things.

1. Have a bit of compassion for yourself. You wouldn’t tell a friend that they will fail if they wanted to start a new business, so why tell yourself? It helps to step back from your self talk and notice it; then give yourself the advice you’d give a friend.

2. Focus on the accomplishments you’ve already made. Write a list of all the good things you’ve done or achieved. Even if it’s a simple thing like you went outside for a walk. This helps you to realise that you’re already making positive steps for change and even partial successes are better than not trying at all.

3. Embrace the grey. By this, I mean rather than things being black or white, good or bad, you focus on the middle bits. The bits where you’ve given something a shot and maybe it’s not been the roaring success you thought it was but you tried. For example, I once started a really tough workout programme and ended up finishing early as it just wasn’t for me. I didn’t feel good doing it and it made me exhausted, so I took the positives from it and decided to leave. I tried and failed, but I gave it a good go.

I hope some of these points have made you think a little differently about that newsletter you want to start, or that new business avenue you want to take?

Love, Rebecca